Jay White and his wife Pam celebrated their 21st wedding anniversary May of 2002. They have spent the last two decades celebrating this union with a Diamond - White has been performing his Neil Diamond tribute since 1982. While audiences give him standing ovations every night for his right-on portrayal of the superstar, in reality there is a facet of Jay they don't get a chance to see. For the last 20 years, on the home front, White has also shown as Mr. Mom to their three children Jason 24, Neil (named for Diamond) 18, and Stephanie 16.
When Jay and Pam married back in 1981, Jason, Pam's son from a previous marriage, was 3. At the time, Jay was a life insurance salesman by day and performing with Top 40 bands on the weekends. A year later, he began his Neil Diamond tribute, quitting his day job six months afterwards to pursue show business full time. That move made him a full time parent during the day, while Pam worked as a nurse in a hospital.
White found Pam to be a wonderful parent and a great teacher when it came to dealing with children. She had a good foundation, coming from a happy, stable and loving family life, which White had not. Initially, White was bothered by parenthood, but as time went on, he became comfortable with it and then began to truly enjoy it. By the time Neil was born in 1983, Jay found it exciting and fun.
White admits that being Mr. Mom had its good days and bad days. In the chores area, there were some he would do - such as grocery shopping, vacuuming, changing diapers, fixing bottles and dressing the kids - and some that he left to Pam - such as dishes, dusting and laundry (although he share the laundry chores now). But the overall effect of being home with his children on a daily basis has had many more positive than negatives in the long run.
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"I had no specific plan in mind. I just thought if I could continue to create opportunities for myself with this Neil Diamond tribute, I could last longer than a year. It was much harder on Pam than on me because of the instability of show business and the fact that initially she didn't think of it as a real job. But during the day, I was raising Jason. He was the first child I ever raised and it was a real challenge. I was a first-time parent learning by trial and error. It was difficult for both of us at first." - Jay White
"That's when I started to become a better parent. And I liked the fact that my children were being raised by both parents, just at two different times - me during the day and Pam at night. I wanted to make sure that my children grew up in a loving environment because I hadn't. Having children became the most important thing in my life - raising them and instilling them with good values. The hardest part was the trial and error of discipline and encouragement. But my children gave me a real sense of purpose. My focus changed from being constantly on me to being on the effect I could have on another human being. I realized that who my children would become was largely dependent upon the person I was to them." - Jay White
"Our family is very, very close today. Now that Neil and Stephanie are teenagers, it really makes me proud that I have helped them to become better people. They never get into trouble - they are A-students and very respectful of their elders. My daughter is very independent, self-confident and self-motivated and wants to be the CEO of her own company. Jason is in the Marines and is the leader of his platoon and Neil wants to be a musician and composer - he plays five instruments. He wants to play bass guitar in my show and is learning the songs now. I really have the family I always wanted to have. Things turned out better than I ever hoped. - Jay White